Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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