at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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