Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
