New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
