making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
