Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
