I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
