we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I see more hoeing in ur future
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