Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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