i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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