How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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