She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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