I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
