You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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