The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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