Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Randomize
