help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
