dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
