Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i believe in u and ur pee
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
