Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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