Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
