All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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