I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
