how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
