I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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