We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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