it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
