i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
