Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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