Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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