They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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