Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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