the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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