You just made me feel so damn special
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
