sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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