so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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