if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
