with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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