wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize