I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
