Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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