Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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