Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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