Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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