we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
