Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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