Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
