She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
