Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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