How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
