Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
